Addressing Low Performance Without Creating Resentment

One of the most challenging aspects of management is addressing low performance. Too often, managers either avoid these difficult conversations altogether or approach them in ways that create resentment rather than progress. The key lies in understanding that effective performance management isn't about being the "bad guy,” it's about being thoughtful, prepared, and genuinely invested in your team member's success.

Pause and Reflect

Before rushing into any performance conversation, effective managers take a step back. This pause isn't about procrastination; it's about gathering the clarity needed to make the conversation productive rather than destructive. Three essential questions should guide this reflection:

Is this persistent behavior or a one-time occurrence? A team member who consistently misses deadlines requires a different approach than someone who had an off day due to personal circumstances. This distinction shapes both your response and your expectations for the conversation.

What is the underlying cause? Performance issues rarely exist in isolation. They might stem from unclear expectations, inadequate resources, personal challenges, or skill gaps. Understanding the root cause prevents you from treating symptoms while ignoring the real problem.

What is the real impact of the behavior on the team and organization? This is not about your personal frustration. It's about the effects on team dynamics, outcomes, and organizational goals. Having specific examples of impact makes your feedback more credible, inspiring, and actionable.

Tailor Your Response: One-Off vs. Persistent Issues

When addressing one-off behavior, your approach should be immediate and specific. Instead of letting minor issues fester and become big issues, provide clear, behavioral feedback right away. For example, if someone interrupts colleagues during meetings, address it directly: "I noticed you interrupted Taylor during the team report. Next time, please hold your questions until the end." This direct approach prevents small issues from becoming patterns.

Persistent performance problems demand more preparation and emotional intelligence. Before initiating these conversations, managers must prepare themselves emotionally. This means setting aside personal feelings and focusing on facts. As emotional intelligence thought leader Susan David says, treat your emotions as “data not directives.” This positions you to create an environment for honest dialogue, not to vent your disappointment.

Engage in Collaborative Problem-Solving

The most effective performance conversations shift from accusatory to collaborative. Instead of presenting yourself as the judge, position yourself as a partner in finding solutions. Share facts about the performance or behavior, then invite their perspective: "How do you see this situation?" This question often reveals information you didn't have and demonstrates that you value their viewpoint.

Following up with "Is there anything happening I can help with?" signals your willingness to support their improvement rather than simply pointing out their shortcomings. This approach transforms the conversation from punishment to partnership.

Practice Deep Listening

Perhaps the most underutilized skill in performance management is listening. After your team member shares their perspective, resist the urge to immediately respond with solutions or corrections. Instead, be present and listen carefully to understand their experience fully. Only then should you share the detailed impact their behavior is having on the team and invite them to collaborate on solutions.

Build Long-Term Success

Effective performance management requires patience, preparation, and genuine care for your team members' growth. When managers invest time in thoughtful reflection and approach these conversations with equanimity, they create opportunities for genuine improvement rather than temporary compliance driven by fear or resentment.

The difference between good and great managers often lies not in their ability to avoid difficult conversations, but in their skill at making these conversations productive, respectful, and beneficial for everyone.